Grandma

My whole life has been lived with the undercurrent of your love. Your house was a haven. There was something about the fancy textured wallpaper, pink bathroom, and endlessly offered plates of cut fruit and pudding. There were cousins and weekends at the lake and drawers of recorded VHS tapes waiting to be thumbed through. There was Nickelodeon! I felt rich just walking through the door. Then there was you. I thought your hands were the loveliest I’d ever seen. I still do. They didn’t even need the rings. We were “buddies and pals”. You made me feel special every time we were together. You let me claim your front closet as a “bedroom”. I had a place. I belonged. You braided my hair and feathered my bangs. I was cared for. I was beautiful. You were a factory of the cutest snowmen, Santas, and cross stitch, yet the rock I painted sat displayed proudly in your cabinet. I was creative. I was an artist. We read piles of library books in your recliner and practiced multiplication tables on your oven timer. I was smart. I made you proud. Some days I still only believe these messages about myself because of you. Because you showed up to my games and Grandparent’s Day breakfasts. Because your Cadillac was parked in my driveway when I got off the bus to sit and chat and get an ice cream. When I lost the pocketknife Dad bought me, you took me to get a secret replacement. Half my house is furnished by you. You gave me a car. A lot of the things I could brag on you for seem material but really they are just artifacts of you always being there. You never ended a phone call without telling me you were thankful for me and your family.

When my students share during class and mention their Grandmas, I always ask, “Is she the strict type or the spoily type?” I ask, thinking of you. You are my standard. I am so blessed to have the love of many amazing people. I think that none of them love me quite like you. I hope I have brought you a fraction of the love and comfort you have given me. You are so much more than just my Grandma, but you made it easy to believe that being that was your favorite thing. I also am so thankful for you and our family you built. I hope you are free of the hindrances of age and celebrating God’s perfect kingdom in pure joy. I hope you are riding Old John with your family and my mom and Aunt Jean over the streets of gold. I will miss you dearly. I still hope to put your influence out in the world in the best parts of myself. You are the Grandma of my dreams! I love you so much!